Havoc

[Vox]

A small drop of shock landed in the pool of thought that made up Sileree's mind, now so much like a burbling brook, out of control and falling ever downward. It made a ripple, which made another, and another. Thorn's anger at her violators was like sweet ambrosia to Sileree, she drank it in, relishing the feeling of it running through the veils of consciousness. Before she knew it, shock had paralyzed her thin slightly ragged frame, but more like novocaine shock than ice cold water over the head. A wave of warm relief lapped at the inside of her head. The paralysis faded...Leaving behind a glowing feeling of happiness and giddiness that Sileree hadn't felt in, oh, ever so long!

Eyes shining with the very kind of tears she would have snorted cynically at before, and her usual dry, skeptical cough that would have followed this small outburst didn't come. A little surprise but still pleased at that, Sileree sniffed and smiled a watery smile. A wet chuckle came from her, and she felt the inexplicable bonds that had tightened over her chest let go. A new sense of freedom coursed through her, and suddenly her surroundings seemed very damp and rather gloomy. Letting her shining face be marred by a small scowl, Sileree looked up at Thorn and asked tentatively in a rather roguish way,

It's quite wet, this place, isn't it? Maybe I could use a little sun...

A subtle hint, that before would have been unthinkable, but now seemed quite exciting. Hinting at places they could go together, sunny places. Of course, Sileree would never desert her Pride, but a small vacation could do her no harm. A new sense of daring, childish one might call it, filled her and she grinned at Thorn. Her eyes said what her mouth and pride wouldn't allow her to do: thanks. A sudden urge to lean on him overpowered her common sense and before Sileree could recover it, she brushed against the lions side. Freezing, she retreated a few inches and took a deep breath to try and cool down her face, which was suddenly hot.

How would he react? Something needed to be said, but Sileree didn't do anything. She stared at the blazing sun which was now in the middle of the sky. Before she had recoiled at it's touch, but not she grew in front of it. Even though he was a little bit younger than her, Thorn was still quite a lot bigger than Sileree. It was comforting beyond anything that words could describe to know that he at least was on her side, and she felt warmer on the inside. Even though they didn't touch, and she stood in his shadows, Sileree felt the heat that emanated from him and shivered visibly. The pretty femme looked up at Thorn, trying to read the expression held in those deep, chocolate eyes. Her throat tightened in nerves at how he would take this sudden closeness.

[/blockquote]

[Lassiel]

His anger clung at his soul, refusing to leave and still visible on his face. But as Sileree gave a happy, albeit small and teary smile, he could not help pushing those feelings away for the time being. He allowed his own lips to turn upwards as she chuckled quietly, pleased that whatever she had seen in his reaction made her happy. But Thorn's brow furrowed quickly when a scowl appeared on her feminine face, and his mind raced to discover what he had done, or not done. In an unexplainable way, what she thought of him was of utmost importance and he desperately thought of a way to bring a smile back to her face. Anything to see a smile again...

He opened his mouth, ready to ask what was wrong when she beat him to it. Thorn could not help but admire her strength. To be able to smile and laugh after telling of such an ordeal--one which obviously caused her pain for good reason... A grin widened on his handsome face, reaching his gaze as he caught her tone and looked in her eyes, firmly shoving any lingering rage away.

The feel of her fur brushing up against his own startled him, but he quickly took it in stride as his eyes halfway closed. A pleasant feeling, it was. One which he had enjoyed many times, but now seemed to be so much better. Before he could savor it longer though, she inexplicably drew away and his chocolate gaze landed on her with a silent question. Though he had not expected her to initiate such tender closeness so early after her story, he certainly thought it would not bother her. Taking in her embarrassed features and noting that she seemed worried, the need to sooth her mind overcame him. Normally, it would have been a wonderful chance for good-natured teasing...but for once he had no desire to do so.

Catching her beautiful honey gaze in his own, Thorn closed the distance between them. Eyes closed, he pressed his forehead against her own in a brief assuring manner before withdrawing only slightly. Noticing that her face was hidden in his shadow, he moved to her side, letting the light fall on her fully but still allowing her to look up at him without staring at the sun as well. The sunlight glinted off her coppery pelt in what, to his eyes, appeared to be a worshiping way and his charming smile finally returned. I think the sun has missed you--and I'm sure I know of a few places where it could get a much better look. And then, on a sudden impulse he leaned over her, giving the top of her head a lick. He did not think about it, or how Sileree would react. But now that it was done, he could not help but worry a little--the idea of falling out of her favor was a horrible thought.

[Vox]

Savoring his grin, which warmed her up even more than his anger, Sileree purred and felt her heart speed up a little. The sun now felt warm and welcoming, opposed to how nasty and burning as it had been before. She smiled at it and her lean muscles that had grown so slight in recent months rippled as if they couldn't wait to grow to their former glory. She felt his body against hers and started a little, but she liked the feeling and it was a nice sort of surprise. Thoughts of Brock and his cronies left her mind, and it was left blissfully empty as she felt his forehead press against hers. " You see! He isn't like the other ones! I told you to trust him, and now look where we are. Quite comfortable. And that also goes to show you how good criticism is! " Suddenly feeling malicious, Sileree couldn't wait to see the lady-killer lion Calamity again.

For now she was very sure that she would have to smirk at him and thank him for giving her the advice, which she was certain would goad him. Repressing the urge to laugh derisively and ruin the moment, Sileree's heart leap as she felt the lick and her purring increased in volume as she licked Thorn's shoulder a few times, straightening a patch of ruffled mane affectionately. Sunlight fell on her pelt as Thorn shifted his stance and she nuzzled his side as his usual smile appeared again. Nodding, for the lioness didn't trust her voice at the moment, Sileree sighed and gazed around at the cool marsh. Perfectly content, she gazed up at Thorn and waited for him to say something else. Just listening to his charming lilt made her smile.

A little bit of uncertainty crept into her stare, and not wanting Thorn to think anything of it, Sileree looked down at her claws. The large, ebony nails were not stained with blood. She had not eaten in at least a week and she couldn't even remember the last time she had hunted. The uneasiness tugged at her. What was she doing?! Were they moving too fast, or was it just her problem? Usually these things took time, but she didn't really know how or why to do so. She had seen all she needed to about Thorn to consider him a worthy partner, but would he continue to be? Was his righteous anger just an act? Cold fear drenched her. Brock, Elphias and Mathieu all over again. But she wrenched her mind from those thoughts, and suddenly, unexpectedly, buried her face in Thorn's thick fur.

Losing herself in the soft warmth, Sileree tried to forget her troubles. Her mother had once told her--It had been at least a year since she had thought of her mother, which shocked her only a little--that what she thought would become reality and then mistrust in ones partner would soon create friction. Sileree would not let the same suspicion that her father had had of her mother rip apart the bond that Thorn had created with her. The doubt ebbed away, but it still licked at the edges of her mind, teasing her and nipping at her. Urging the lioness to follow it into the deep realm of hurt, disappointment and anger. She ignored it and hushed the little voice in her head that said to take her relations with Thorn more slowly.

Where should we go then? I don't think Lothril will mind if I take a break from full time Pride life.

Smiling slyly in a very Silereeish way, the rusty lioness rolled her shoulders in a relaxed, casual way. She couldn't wait to move her muscles, she had been still for too long. A suppressed cough was followed by three more before Sileree could wrestle down her lungs. Looking sheepishly up at Thorn, Sileree gagged on a half formed word that turned into another cough. They subsided after she cleared her throat and shook her pelt. And she had thought the blasted cough had gone...

Damn cough...I suppose it's the damp that's causing it.

Scowling around at the marsh, Sileree got up off of the ground and hurriedly swiped her tongue over her backside and sides, ridding herself of the mud that had latched on. Grimacing in disgust at the taste, the lioness looked around in disdain at her wet surroundings and thought that she really did need a hiatus. Maybe they could go to Beseni...Or Eiroka. Almost laughing aloud hysterically at the thought of crawling off to Eiroka, were there was no water this time of the year, Sileree held her breath until the insane urge left and waited for Thorn's response.

[/blockquote]

[Lassiel]

A deep, utterly content sigh escaped him as Sileree return his affections without hesitation. The warmth of the sun, but more importantly, the warmth of the lioness next to him, kept him from moving away and instead held him completely still. In the calm moment, his mind rested in a pleasant haze, floating from memory to memory. He had to suppress a small chuckle as he though of what his pride would think of him now. Hell, what would his father think? Thorn the Player--the annoying, failure of a son he could not stand.

A frown marred his otherwise happy face. No, he knew what dear daddy would think, would do. "Fool! You can't really love--all you can do is cause pain and throw disgrace on your family!" A younger Thorn took a step back, dismay on his face as he hesitantly spoke. "I--I didn't--" Chocolate gaze abruptly closed itself to the world, stopping the memories of an empty pair of eyes before they could go farther. But the echo of his father lingered, tainting the peaceful surroundings. What if...what if he was somehow right?

Thorn drew a quick, sharp breath, not in fear for himself, but for the one next to him. He glanced at her, swiftly taking in her form and how she studied her paws. Ah gods--what if I somehow hurt her? The agonizing thought stole his breath away. Upon finding her on the ground coughing so harshly, the caring heart he usually kept hidden behind his teasing nature instantly showed itself, and in the process opened him up to other feelings. And then her story....the mere thought of it angered him! In such a short space of time he had grown emotionally attached to Sileree in a way he often struggled to keep from happening. In his dallying with other lionesses, emotions were always kept carefully out of the way--both participants knowing it was but a game, an engaging distraction. But now...oh now he had not been so careful, and he knew what happened today could very well change the course of his life. But never would he call it a mistake.

He did not know if she could feel the sudden tenseness in his shoulders, so he forced himself to relax, not wanting to give her reason to worry. But his thoughts were still on his father--who had seemed to dislike him so much--and the many words he had thrown at Thorn, predictions he wondered if were true, now that he seemed to finally be in a position where there was one suitable for him. Would he only cause her pain and heartbreak? He knew his nature was one that few females would want in a partner--though Sileree had a similar nature and would certainly understand. But none deserved to have a partner who spent their time flirting with others. Even if she did accept it, he would not--could not live in a pride again! And never would Thorn ask her to leave her pride and home--forsake the protection and companionship it offered.

As the agony of his thoughts increased, Thorn found it harder to keep his body from showing signs of distress, and he would have moved away had Sileree not pressed into his fur. Dark head turned, eyes finding her in surprise, but he had not the heart to move now that she seemed so content. As her seductive voice washed over him, he managed to shove away all morose thoughts to simply listen to her speak, though he could not help the small flash of unease at her intention of taking a break from her pride. Do not risk your safety to simply be with me, he wanted to say. The foolishness of his thought did not escape him--there were several lionesses out there who wandered alone and did fine, and he had no doubt Sileree could take care of herself. But with his recent thoughts of somehow being the catalyst for harm, he could not help the unusual wish. Look at you! Just a few moments ago you were wanting to escape this damp place with her--now you would almost rather be alone!

A brief close of his eyes before meeting her gaze with his own and a warm smile. She...did not need to know of his fears. And maybe, as much as the thought pained him, maybe nothing would come from their meeting. Resolutely, he ignored the nagging voice at the back of his mind saying he was a fool to think that. Ignorance is bliss. The thought came unbidden, and then was closely followed by another. But only for so long.... Suddenly realizing she had asked him a question, he shook his mane out before replying. If you do not mind quite a walk, I would suggest Kipia. The rains of the wet season will be arriving soon, and we may see some clouds in the distance, if we're lucky. He could not deny that the thought of being with her on such a lengthy journey was a welcoming, and at the same time worrying one. With an eager gaze, he waited for her response, one part wishing she would say 'No' and forget about him, and the other desperately hoping for a simple 'Yes.'

ooc: I need to go create a thread for Thorn in 'Get To Know Me.'

[Vox]

" Sweet Thorn...I only wish I couldn't hear his thoughts as my own. I wish that I wouldn't invade his privacy, but I have attained little control over my curse. These days it is more a monster than any lion can be... " Sileree's thoughts broke off as Thorn's train of thought crashed into her own. A moan of pain escaped her lips and she drew away from her companion's comforting fur. Pain tolled in her head as words trickled in. " 'Fool! You can't really love--all you can do is cause pain and throw disgrace on your family!' A younger Thorn took a step back, dismay on his face as he hesitantly spoke. 'I--I didn't--' " Choking back the sigh that she knew Thorn wanted to utter himself, Sileree felt anger course through her veins. She wasn't sure if it was her own anger at what she had allowed herself to see, her embarrassment at intruding on Thorn's privacy or Thorn's anger at himself which she was tuning into. She couldn't let this happen. She would not allow it! " Control it! " Sileree's brain screamed at her but she couldn't, it happened too fast.

Images flashed through her mind, images that were created by her mind as an effect of the other lions emotions. Sileree, lying on the ground sobbing and Thorn standing over her. His face masked in the same dismay as he had worn in the other memory. She almost cried out in pain as she felt the agony of her friend grip herself, agony at the thought of what might happen between them. It had to stop, and quickly, or she would know too much. Sileree picked up on his body language and then heard his words. She knew what she had to do, and although it pained her, she knew it was necessary. Not so much for just her, but for Thorn. If it didn't end, Sileree's sanity would leave with the wind. Her emotions were too strong, whenever Sileree grew too attached to one single lion she would be able to read their mind. And whatever Thorn might say, not lion liked to have his thoughts broke in upon. His mind was the only thing he could keep from others, and she had just taken his mind from him. Thinking over her words carefully and trying to keep her voice light and casual, Sileree thought something up quickly.

I...I can't Thorn. I-I just remembered, Lothril asked me to... Sileree wracked her brain for a made up something that Lothril might have asked her to do, Asked me to stay here and be a steward for the marsh while she controls Beseni. You remember when you found me that I was muttering about my duties.

She was usually an expert liar, but this particular lie seemed hollow, unbelievable even through the words were very convincing her tone was guilty and false. Staring at her feet, she felt her cheek twitch and knew that he would never believe her. Getting up for what she hoped was the final time, Sileree looked at Thorn; her expression was slightly fearful, afraid of what he might do to her if she just left now. Heart fluttering in anxiety and joy as their eyes met, Sileree nodded a little and turned to walk away. Their little chat had been enjoyable, but she was doubtful now that their relationship would ever go anywhere and right now, Sileree needed to do her job. She turned, one last time and said softly, so that Thorn would barely be able to hear her at the distance,

I'll...See you around then. Thorn.

Sileree felt her throat tighten on the last word and moved swiftly deeper into the thick fog that now covered the marsh at this hour. Her brief spell of happiness was gone, and the femme wondered in a painful way if she too was only meant to cause pain and heartbreak. Her pads moved swiftly, dancing out patterns that she had memorized all those years ago. Left, right, left, right, left, left, right, left, right, twirl, skip, left, right, left, right, left, left, right, left, right, twirl, skip and so on. She made a half hearted pirouette that lost all it's splendor as her melancholy face broke the fog, away from Thorn and her troubles. Tears came, hot and fast. Ashamed, Sileree looked around. Good. No one in sight. Hurriedly she shook them free of her face and sat down on the damp ground, think that maybe the wet wasn't all that bad. She had done it. Sileree had disappointed one of the only people to care for her, but she kept herself breathing by knowing, or thinking, that it was all for the best. The cough came back, but not as badly and she continued to choke up what felt like her innards for a while.

Sileree thought sadly, that her life's motto seemed to be " If you can't cope, and you think you're not doing the other any good...Run! Run away! Run far...far...away...... " Bitter thoughts came to her and the rusty lioness muttered in a broken voice,

I gave you what you asked for, Thorn. An interesting talk, nothing more, nothing less...

And buried her face into her own thick chest fur, because of the absence of somebody else's.

[/blockquote]

[Lassiel]

Stand there and breath. He could do nothing else save stand and breath, and even those two simple tasks were as punishments heaped upon the condemned. She left, disappearing into the creeping haze away from his eyesight, and then breathing was suddenly the only thing he could manage. A pained groan escaped him as he slid to the damp earth, the strength in his legs leaving and his eyes squeezed shut. She--she knew something was wrong. Why else would she lie like that? Oh, he knew she made that story up on the spot, and it was that which made him hurt even worse. She was trying her best to keep him from experiencing any pain at the separation, and one would not do that if they did not care. If it were not for the despair surrounding him, Thorn would have been overjoyed to realize she cared enough to tell a horrible lie--but such a thought was beyond his reach now.

His breath came ragged and heavy from where he lay. Sileree... The name was but a whisper from his lips, but the emotion in it was overpowering. My little vixen...so brave to take the fall, when I could not. To be the one to walk away. He pressed his face to the ground, wishing the earth would swallow him and destroy what was now a pitiable existence. All you can do is cause pain....pain to one who actually cares for you, and for whom you care for in return. Green eyes, wide and empty, staring lifeless at him, yet the gaze accusing all the same. The young body they rested in lay torn and bloodied, beyond help or hope. Sweet, beautiful Raine--gone, dead, because of him--her mother sobbing...and his father watching him with a strange mixture of contempt and triumph.

Just hours before her murder, Thorn believed he loved her and had told her so, only to be gently rebuked. "Oh Thorn, my dearest friend, you do not really love me. You only love what such a union may do to your father's thoughts of you." A kind smile to soften the blow, brilliant green gaze watching him with deep affection, but not love. "I am not for you--even you realize that, because you are not denying my words. I know that when you find her, you will fight--even though your father and the world stand in your way. The last words she spoke to anyone she loved. If only he had known, he would not have left her far away from the pride's safety. No. That was not an excuse--he knew that two males had been seen on the edges of their territory, knew that it wasn't safe for anyone to be alone...yet he still left her, all because his damnable pride would not let him walk back without her as his own. And they found her, murdered her without a thought...because he was not there to save her. Weeks, then months passed, and he slowly began to see the truth in her words--but it did not lessen his guilt, though he hid it behind a teasing smile and charming nature.

Dark head lifted from the ground, mane slightly damp from the fog as he stared at the spot Sileree had vanished into. You will fight--even though your father and the world stand in your way. Did...did he truly love her? Since that horrible day, he refrained from saying he loved another, unconsciously afraid that such a statement would somehow cause their death. Tongue slowly licked his dry lips as he sorted through his feelings. Even if it turned out he didn't love Sileree, even if she hated him...she deserved an explanation, a reassurance that it was not anything about her, but his own fears.

His resolve quickly hardened once his decision was made, and he pushed himself to his feet, not bothering to shake off clinging grass and dirt. His stride lengthened as he set off in the direction she had gone, large pads hitting the earth faster and faster until he was fairly running after her. Although not the best of hunters, he could still pick out her trail and follow it confidently. And then the sound of harsh coughing reached him, and he slowed his pace, hurriedly glancing around and rounded ears moving. Adjusting his direction just a little, he continued at a slower jog. It was easy to find her, for she did not seem to have hidden herself that well, perhaps trusting him to just disappear. He halted behind Sileree, suddenly unsure as he stared at her graceful, forlorn figure. But he could not turn away now, especially since she surely must have noticed his arrival.

Forcing his legs to move, Thorn took a few steps forward and then stopped again. Sileree... But he could not think of anything else to say, could not figure out how to successfully explain his actions. So instead he waited, hoping she would not leave again, yet certain he would follow if she did.

[Vox]

Heart almost stopping as she heard the familiar voice, Sileree whirled around. She thought for a moment she imagined his face, for it was wreathed in fog. Face tormented she went over a prayer in her head her mother had taught her, or rather drilled into her, that was supposed to ward off evil spirits. The curse threatened to overtake her, and she swayed where she stood, peering through the mist at the face. It was corporeal, so either she had to get some sleep or it was really Thorn. Weakness overtook her, both in mind and in body. Sleep had not embraced her for more than four days and she was dead on her feet, metaphorically speaking of course. Green eyes stared into hers and it seemed her heart was ripped in two as she saw the bloodied body of a young lioness she thought she knew. " Raine... " echoed in her mind in Thorn's voice, his tones pained and low. Then the image left and a new one of an arrogant looking male lion that looked vaguely like Thorn wavered in front of her eyes. Shutting it out quickly, Sileree took deep breaths, eyes almost popping from the sudden breathlessness. Looking at Thorn through agonizing coughs, Sileree managed to choke out,

What--is--it? Why did you--come back?

Her voice was not accusing, or full of affection. It was the tone of voice a person took when they had just sawed off their right arm to give it to someone who had lost theirs only to realize that it had all been a joke, and that the person had been having them on. Tears filled Sileree's startling pale gold eyes, they took that tinge at this hour. The splashed onto her cheeks and trickled down. The made an elegant pattern down her face, riddling her gaunt cheekbones and her skeletal jaw and chin. No anger leaked into her gaze, which was uncharacteristic. Thoughts formed into pictures that seemed to flash across her face, a hound howling after a master who was leaving it in an unfamiliar place to rot. Why did it have to be like this? Why couldn't she be normal? Why couldn't Thorn be happy with her, and why did he have to think about 'Raine' at a moment like this?! Didn't he understand what she had offered? He didn't know her well enough to understand that her offer of leaving the Pride, even for a moment was like looking him in the eye and carving out her heart for him. Loyalty was the most important thing to her and he didn't understand that yet. They had only just met. Shallows breaths entered her lungs and there was a sudden outbreak of coughs before she controlled them. Hunger pangs and dryness swept through her and darkness gathered at the corners of her vision. She felt nothing as she slumped onto the ground from her sitting position, falling downwards, ever downwards into the chasm of unconsciousness. To the average person, this was a sign that Sileree was tired, has issues with weight and needed to drink more water. But to a person who truly understands, this was an escape. Her emotions were running wild, feelings she didn't want to feel were coming out and she had escaped from the movie into the bathroom until the picture changed to something more appetizing.

|ooc| : Sorry for the crap post, I dunno what's got into me to-day.

[Lassiel]

Even though Thorn expected it, the question startled him. Considering the way he acted before everything went horribly array, wouldn't it be obvious that he was worried? Couldn't she tell by the tortured look on his face that he hated what was happening? A moment of irrational anger struck him. Why did he have to think of his father when everything was going so well? Why could Thorn not just ignore the memories that haunted his every step, or at least not let their effect known to others? Utter self-loathing took over his face as he caught sight of the tears freely flowing down Sileree's face and he wondered if he had done the right thing to run after her. He was the cause of these tears, just as he had been the cause of their separation.

Dulled brown eyes turned downward, staring at his paws as he attempted to scrape his scattered feelings and thoughts together enough to give a satisfactory answer. His heart was sore, mind tired and blank as he, again and again, was met with a blank wall. Gaze shifted upward as he heard the sound of her moving and then began to move down, only to fly toward her once again. She was fainting! As she hit the ground, Thorn dashed forward, muscles suddenly unfrozen. Sileree! His voice sounded worried even to him. Crouching next to her head, he said her name again, tone strained and panicked. Met with no response, he swallowed and looked around in confusion, as if some angel would appear and make everything better. But of course, nothing like that was going to happen, and his gaze quickly returned to her. Please wake up. The agonized whisper was nearly silent, so much so that he was nearly mouthing the words. With no earthly idea of what to do, he nudged her smaller head with his own and kept it there, taking in her distinct scent and feeling only marginally comforted by her warm body.

[Vox]

<sub>Contrary to what one might think, being unconscious takes a very short time when you are the one who's fainted. Small, primitive thoughts flitted through the wasted lady's mind. Thoughts that brought her steaming carcasses of water buffalo, antelope and zebra. Water gushed out of a stream and she lapped it up. She actually waded through the water, cooling her hot side. Wait for it...A hot side? No...It was one side of her head. Well that's damned inconvenient! Thought Sileree and she came back. The warmth, as you all have probably guessed, came from Thorn and as she came round Sileree wished more and more she could have stayed in her faint. It had been fully an hour since she had collapsed and she felt even more tired. People are laboring under the delusion that when you are unconscious you are sleeping. It's not a 'sleep', it's more like a time skip with a monster headache depending on why you blacked out. Sileree's headache came from thwacking her head on a rock as she fell.

Feeling a little confused at first, as to why such a handsome young man was practically sobbing into her face, Sileree groaned at the pain that seemed to throb along with her heartbeat through her body. Then she remembered not just Thorn but everything. " Raine... " Echoed off of the sides of her mind and she coughed lightly, more to clear her head than her throat. She lie there, not because she was trying to attract attention but because she knew she would probably fall back down if she tried to get up and that would look weak. Attempting to at least pick her head up and failing, Sileree felt her face burn and her nose went puse. This was an extraordinary way to wake up. Weak, hungry, thirsty and embarrassed. A slight fevered chill ran through her, but she wasn't sure why. " It must be that time of year again... " Thought Sileree and she moaned again, but more to herself. She always took her heat very badly. It affected her nastily and she was nearly always sick. That was why she got the cough, now she knew. She didn't care as much about her safety though, because she knew Thorn would never try anything.</sub>

[Lassiel]

The emotional day and now his stress and panic over Sileree had combined to make Thorn a very tired lion. Thus, though he tried his hardest to stay awake, as time dragged on and she still hadn't moved, a fitful sleep took over him. Hazy images flashed in his mind, scenes of his family and Raine, though even she was soon overshadowed by Sileree. Her face seemed to occupy every single thought, something that was far from a bad thing. But the pictures were hard to see, and though he often caught her happy and smiling, as often as not a sorrowful look was on her face. They were only dreams, but his tortured mind made them into burning brands.

With a jolt, Thorn's eyes opened--and immediately felt anger at having fallen asleep when he should have been watching over her. A quick glance at the sky told him some time had passed, and his worried gaze fell on Sileree once more. She was alive, and he no longer felt the panic he had at first--he just wished she would wake! Dark head falling against the earth next to hers again, he resigned himself to waiting, silently promising he her he would not fall asleep again. Luckily for his nerves and sanity, it only took a few more minutes for the lioness to stir next to him. Pure relief spread through him, erasing the lines on his face and causing a moment of pure contentment to race through him. Breath held, he waited for her to speak, to say something. Her intoxicating scent came to his black nose and he blinked, surprised. Was it already that time? Great. Now all the kings will be even more cranky. The stray thought passed by quickly and was soon gone as he became preoccupied with other ones, never once even considering forcing her.

She had still said nothing, only managing to lift her head, which then fell rather weakly to the ground. To be expected--I doubt she's had much to eat lately, especially with the lack of prey that comes with the dry season. Inwardly, he felt kind of embarrassed for witnessing this moment of weakness, having found her to be a strong woman--but no matter how much one wished, they could not be strong ever moment of their life. It did not take long for him to speak. How do you feel? It seemed to be all he could think of to say. How do you feel right now, after you fainted? How do you feel about the way I acted? How...do you feel about me? Do you hate me? How did you know something was wrong? So many things he wanted to know, but was afraid to discover.

[Vox]

Half feeling as if she was going to break into hysterical laughter or sobbing, Sileree didn't and she pulled herself together. Gritting her teeth she heaved her tired body up and managed a lop-sided grin. One of her cheekbones had bruised very slightly but you couldn't tell through her fur. "Well...Apart from the fact that I was very close to having a nervous breakdown, I'm grand." Sarcasm oozed from her words like pus but it was not offensive sarcasm and Sileree made it funny. She almost chuckled, but supressed it for fear she might cough blood up again. Her stomach roared and she tested her legs very carefully. They felt like jelly, but she forced them to solidify and they did, marginally. Not really sure what to do now that she was up, Sileree looked at Thorn sheepishly and took a step. She was steady, so she took another. The lioness tripped a little but kept herself upright and then started to walk.

"Good." Sileree growled in satisfaction "I can walk." She wanted to ask him what they were going to do now that she was concious but didn't quite know how to put it. Going over several acceptable sentences in her mind, Sileree chose one that had a nice ring to it and tried it on her tongue for size. Yes, this one would do nicely. "Thorn...Considering the unfortunate condition you find me in...I think it would be best if I stayed with the Akina until this passes over. I'm confident in you, but I just don't think it's safe for me to be wandering around at present. Five males against us two is not very comforting." She hoped he would understand, her voice was halting and hesitant as she thought of what to say next and she looked up at him. His chocolate eyes were very pleasant to look into and almost hypnotic. Sileree nearly lost herself in them as she stared. A small smile appeared on her face and she sent all the love she could into her gaze. She ignored the scent that was now uncomfortably apparent in the air and broke the stare to look around into the fog, making sure it was just them and no others.

[/blockquote]

[Lassiel]

A blossoming of hope and a sudden ray of light brightened Thorn's features at her tone, though in the back of his mind rested concern at her nervous breakdown. As she slowly stood, he suddenly rushed to his feet, eager to help in anyway possible, as he was feeling somewhat responsible for her behavior. But she did not seem to need it, so he contented himself with standing close to her side, nearly touching her sleek body. He stood in rapt attention as Sileree spoke, only to have the almost happy expression on his face fall at her words. So she wanted him to leave? Thorn's gaze fell down as he studied his paws. Unconsciously, the great pad flexed, showing sharp black claws that scratched the dirt beneath them.

You have to look up. You cannot look at the ground forever. Reluctantly, Thorn's gaze was forced upwards, first to her paws, up her long legs, and finally resting on her oh so beautiful face. She was not looking at him yet, and he wondered if she was trying to hide her expression. In truth, he did see the prudence in her words--but that did not mean that he wanted them to be true, and he couldn't help but wonder if she would say the same thing when she was perfectly fine. No--she would not do that. Making himself calm down, he struggled to think rationally about her words. Would he really risk her life because of him? No. It was unheard of.

Sileree's honey gaze finally found his, and he stared back, memorizing every detail, every line of her face before returning to her eyes--and the overwhelming love he saw there stopped his heart. Instantly, warmth spread throughout his chill body and his ray of light returned. Studying her gaze with his own, he finally spoke. Although I do not like it, I think that it is the safest thing to do. He stopped, trying to gather his thoughts to explain. But I--I cannot stay here with you, Sileree, as part of a pride. Dark head shook as his explanation vanished. Just...too many bad memories, from my past. As he found her face once more, his gaze was pleading. Forgive me...and please...be careful around other males... A dry laugh escaped him as he attempted to be humorous. I would hate to get blood all over me because someone did not treat you as he should.

Serious once more, he closed the distance between them, pressing his head against her own again. He stayed there for a few moments, chocolate eyes closed as he simply inhaled her unique scent, and knowing nothing more to say. For some reason, he could not force himself to leave, so he stayed there, wishing time would just pass by, leaving them untouched.

ooc: So sorry for the crappy post.

[Vox]

Feeling resentful to her heat, Sileree shifted her weight so her nearly weightless body didn't go numb. Different emotions plagued her and she wasn't sure what to make of them. She had to stay with the Akina for now, but when she went out of heat--hopefully with no consequences to show for it--it would be the dry season and they would have to postpone their trip to somewhere warm for the next year. It tore her to imagine not seeing Thorn for a whole year. She would have to work something out. Maybe if she was lucky her heat would end soon and then she could leave this dampness sooner. Well, actually, it wasn't that bad this place. It served a purpose, and now she felt like a wash so she could find somewhere cool to sleep for a while. His words hit home with her and her all for the best mood slipped. Her small smile was dragged off her face and she wanted to sigh, but she didn't.

I cannot stay here with you, Sileree, as part of a pride...Just...too many bad memories, from my past. And then his half hearted attempt to make her smile. It felt almost like putting together the last piece of a puzzle, a puzzle that made up their farewell; he pressed his head against hers and she felt the familiar comfort. Sinking into the small embrace, Sileree moved her head she she was leaning against Thorn's chest. It was warm and the softest of his fur tickled her face. His heart beat under his rippling muscles and thick fur and she felt her own flutter in happiness and apprehension. She knew he could not do it, she knew it would be too hard. He had done his part and now it was her turn. She put on a brave smile for him, it was a little forced and even she was surprised to find her face a little wet. Then she stood on her very tip-toes and licked him on the cheek quickly. She backed away and a thought struck her.

Will you come back for me, Thorn? Will you come back after I go out of heat? Even if you do not stay, promise you will visit me sometime.

It was strange, like they were not really saying goodbye. Sileree could not leave, she was part of the Akina Pride now and she could not leave it. For a little while she could take a vacation, but never leave it. And Thorn could never join it. They would be together, and yet apart. Not entirely sure of what would happen, Sileree stayed. She knew it would have to be her to leave, leave him behind like she did last time. But this time he wouldn't follow, he couldn't follow. She would spend her heat with the Akina, where she would be surrounded by fellow females going through PMS and whatnot. And Crow was part of the Pride now...Sileree closed her eyes and groaned at the thought.

[/blockquote]

[Vox]

_{|ooc| : BTW, your post is fine! I like it, anyway.}

[Lassiel]

ooc: Thankies. ^_^

For a moment, Thorn managed to forget the separation that was upon them. He reveled in the feel of her body as she shifted against him, rejoicing in the closeness. Nothing...compared to this. Nothing. But all too quickly, that heavenly space in time was lost. She moved away from him, stealing the warmth from inside and out. The tears on her face broke his heart, and he found his own chocolate ones watering at what he knew was coming. The lick on his cheek, though not expected, was welcomed, and when she backed away again, there was a small, bittersweet smile on his muzzle.

Thorn's voice, despite the sadness of the situation, was warm as he spoke. Of course, Sileree. Nothing could keep me from you for long. How could she even ask? She had, very quickly, become his world, and he would grant any wish that was in his power to do so. The tone of his deep voice grew serious. But if ever you need me--I will be around. I will stay in these southern lands no matter what.

And then...it was time. It seemed to come upon him suddenly, this suffocating feeling of finality. Its noose tightened around his throat, strangling him...but it had to be done. And as the resolution came to him, another thought struck. Can I really let her be the one to walk away again? It hurt her so much before, and he wondered if he could make the separation less painful by hauling his own heavy heart away first. If lessening the pain was even possible...it sure as hell wasn't for him. But maybe the relief of not being the one to sever the bond would be worth it.

Releasing a shuddering breath he did not know he was holding, Thorn sought her lovely gaze. However foolish it may sound, you are...everything to me, my dear Sileree. A soft, teasing grin somehow found its way to his face. My beautiful vixen. The expression slipped as the final stretch came to him. A race that he did not want to finish. Watch for me. I will come back. The tone was firm, convincing--for he had every desire and purpose to return to her. He watched her honey eyes, reading them, and took in every lovely curve of her form. He wanted to have a memory of her, however imperfect the image may be compared to the real thing.

And then Thorn turned, tearing his gaze away, large body rippling as he moved. Step by slow step, the distance between them lengthened, and he hoped it would not end up being a reflection of his--or her--feelings. He felt heavy, and detached. It seemed nothing in the world bothered him now--not the dampness of the marsh or the stinging bite of insects. They were but inconsequential things that would only distract his mind from what stood behind him. I will come back. I promise.

Oh look for me by moonlight
Watch for me by moonlight
And I'll come to thee by moonlight
Though Hell should bar the way.