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Post by Valid on Aug 2, 2007 14:45:35 GMT -6
Because
Lay me in my [/size] C O F F I N[/size] and burry me[/size] A L I V E_______________________________________________[/center] I had a dream of windows. Of glass tiles on the wall. Every door was sealed. And there was absolutely nothing to feel. I had a dream of demons. Seeping through the cracks. The wore the faces of my enemies. Of my history. They took turns taking pieces of me. Pride, Honor, Soul. Piece by piece they engulfed my existence until but one thing was left. A corpse devoid of everything that once was. They took the pieces of me and flowed. Fallowing the stream, the draft to Hell… where I found things were ever divided. The icy depths, the fiery pits. They split me up from there. Passing me out to each and every soul, for there were many you see, that I had done wrong by. And surprise I was… to find some of the angels, forfeiting their wings to have their piece of revenge. Surprised… yet happy. As they tore what made me away… they took the burden, the guilt, I have had for so many years. Running… for so many years… funny how all the sudden being caught solves… everything… and how Hell helps compensate for every sin… so… funny, no?
[/i] Things… were getting complicated and he knew very well that wasn’t what he really wanted. He liked simplicity, something he could understand and explain with ease. He liked it that way, especially so when that complexity effected him like it did in this case. After all this… how does one act on this, really now? See, so many factors to count in this equation was getting a bit bigger every day with information dragged in. Rumors had spread, believe it or not. Rumors about a Miss Dancer. He was pondering those rumors, the actual truth they had and… and… some reason he really didn’t want to confront the missy about it. Surely the rumors were just that, tasteless little stories thrown about. Though admittedly if they were true how was he suppose to handle the matter? Or was he even suppose to ‘handle’ the matter? Just… let it snuff out it self, resolve itself through time? And what if it did not? What if it grew and became greater and greater? Oh it seemed he was good at one thing and that was making things all the more vexing. Mhmm… vexing even more so. Things… were confusing but they made some sort of sense. Some sort, perhaps not the ‘sort’ that could be explained or the sort that really mattered to many but… He had his release. He felt… so much… the word was hard to place but he would be fine, he would be well. If Kishkir went back to her mate, it would be fine. If she stayed at his side, that also would be. Happiness would come either way, he knew how to find it, and it would be a hard thing to forget ever again. Though sadness is there it will… not always be there. Though one can fight needlessly one may, very well lose. Work today as hard as you would any other, even if it is vain… it may not count towards the greater effect but… you will have the satisfaction of knowing you worked. That you fought. That you tried and there will be others who will learn from your error, or rise in your place to continue your work. It is all… hopeless in the end, all… rather pointless but it is… no problem. Just because it’s pointless, just because it doesn’t matter. All the more reason to live, don’t you think? All the more reason to be happy? It is pointless to be sad, in sadness you feel horrible. Might as well feel good… might as well. It was hard to explain this… this thing he had. It was hard to put in words, it was just this feeling. This remarkable feeling, he could relax… he could… It was like trying to explain eternity, to explain infinity and the possibility of something beyond that. It was like trying to explain comfort and the ability to know, without knowing. It was like trying to explain what joy was, what love was, what sadness was, it was like trying to explain what words… really, really meant but not being able to. Speech… speech could not do justice to it, could not truly comprehend such feeling… She had decided to… stay, you know? Surprised he was… surprised even more so how mother and father split the children so. How quickly things ended and how things were severed so. Pondersome it was but he… didn’t feel any desire to ponder it. He may come to an end he didn’t like and, well, he was happy, why go out of his way to change that? And besides he had other, closer, things that could snuff out any joy he was feeling. He had a good guess what everyone’s thinking and what everyone would be thinking. They would stare at him, and wonder how he could just… She murderer his heart and now he was letting her in again? For the lethal blow, no less! Or maybe she was with him so her child could become Queen when he wad dead? Or maybe she’d do this whole thing all over again and he’ll just keep taking her back over and over. That was most likely what everyone was thinking and… he really couldn’t… blame them. But, he could offer words that could, perhaps, sway their conviction in such tales. If she murdered him again, if she killed him to get at his position and put her child there… so what? He would be dead so it would be doubtful he’d mind too much. And if he was used by someone, again, that would be nothing new… If she went off and got someone new and camp trotting back, with more children, asking to be let back in? Mhmm… Now that was a tricky one. Hopefully she wouldn’t test him so. Though he lacked deep care in some areas, you see his release allowed him not to care and not to feel guilty because he didn’t, he did have ‘care’ in some other areas. Believe it, or not. Climbing he was. Or, scaling… or moving. Or any other word one cared for that could describe the action he was partaking of. The action of heading upwards, using the old, crumbling paths laid… Paths that were only faintly there, to go higher and higher. Rough paws brushing the rocky ground and muscular body doing decent work he seemed to have no struggle as he navigated the terrain. His eyes, ever brown and ever reflecting a relatively humble and mild natured beast gazing, now and again as he took a break from his trek, out across the great land. His eyes viewing the birds, and the trees, and even his own, mighty home from a slightly higher altitude. Eyes, pools of color and depth reflecting what he saw… and what he saw was a beautiful, serene view. One of nature and one of the splendor it undoubtedly created he felt the clarity of the day and the goodwill of the sun. The warmth was still felt as he was scaled, as he wandered. Moseying upwards and making good time. Good, steady, safe time as he watched his steps and the steps he would make in time to come. Eyes also viewing the path ahead as he kept check of faulty nooks and nasty critters laying in wait to prey on the unwary hiker. Critters such as snakes… critters such as anything else that could be of threat… And so he wandered, and so he arose. The Old King moving closer to the heavens as he headed up the mountain. As close as he would ever be to the sky, for… though he had the love of his life and was overwhelmed with the fact she would be at his side… he was still a sinner and he had no desire to ask the marvel dubbed love to speak on his behalf. Content to go to Hell, for his life wasn’t so bad… for he felt… some what he was doing decent, perhaps? That, though he was failing… he was… making some sort of progress? But, again such could not come out in words. He was failing but making progress? Confusing, but… But what else could he say? Anything else would be just as perplexing… It occurred to him he shouldn’t be happy. Content as he was and well with everything and anything that would rear it’s ugly, yet almighty, head next. After all… Anhay was most likely dead. Meges was most likely off causing a ruckus some where, having deserted the pride so. Kishkir’s son had been taken away and he had pried Kgosi’s mate from his arms. He had also caused… the black blood to churn between him and Dancer, undoubtedly and… something told him that now that she left, chances are she wasn’t going to come back. Yes, it was quite a temptation, the temptation to fallow her and see if something could be figured out, if something could be done so she could be all the more… satisfied, happy, content… but… After everything that happened he was starting to realize his loyalty to others should be expressed in a different way then constantly fallowing them and hanging about, like an old man outside a liquid store, making sure they were fine and dandy. After all… Kishkir had very well spoken that his being around had been painful. The inner turmoil, the churning depths… And he could think of nothing to say, after many hours of pondering silently as he went up this great mound, of words that could be said that could… even hope to… Their meeting, the meeting of Dancer and himself would end in disaster. He could feel it in his bones, in his hide, in his mind and soul. It would not end good and most likely end with him… being offered another dose of ‘guilt’ for screwing someone’s life up and… Dancer being ever satisfied with her anger towards him. Some odd thing told him that. Not that he tended to believe such odd things but, on this topic… he was going to. Even if his feet occasional strayed in the lady’s direction. Her becoming a courtesan… didn’t sit well with him. But, perhaps such an act had nothing to do with him? Maybe she wanted to be one of those horrors on the block all along. Maybe, but what if it did have something to do with him? … Perfect. Pardon the rather… dry and somewhat… edgy [?] tone he was using but… Really now after a while one had to admit. Admit that things were getting a bit ridiculously large and… all else. He had yet to back away from the edge enough to really laugh at his ‘almost falling’ and… had yet to find any real humor in how things were tended to turn the worse. That and the fact that there was a white lion around… a male, some what scrawny… His mind flickered to an individual in the past. And, to say the least ‘the past’ was left ‘the past’ for a reason. He was starting anew, couldn’t you tell? He was started anew… but a sinner is a sinner is a sinner. Especially when this sinner still has a bit of bloodlust. Aye, bloodlust for only a few, certain, specific people but, still counted… didn’t it? His eagerness to kill? Murder… Mhmm. It took a few moments. Of his mind on pause as he debated something in the farthest of far reaches of his mind. He was thinking and his thought had run across a rather serious patch. Enough so that he stopped in mid-step. A rather smart thing, too, as his eyes flickered downward. Attentive ears listening and hearing his black lips curved to a frown and his handsome face twisted to a look of mild disagreement. Side-stepping he did and continuing his way as he put distance between himself and the slithery serpent and his crevice. He had never liked snakes, but he never held them in the degree of ‘traitorous’ and ‘ill omen’ as most others. A snake was a snake… a dangerous surprise to those unwary. And a cursing to those who weren't attentive and aware of their surroundings. What would Rana think? The thought was coming now and again and it became more persistent the more he denied it entrance to the grand center of his mind that was subjected to all questions that was ever thought, deeply, about. But, you know, he just couldn’t help it he didn’t know what his sister would think and it was nagging him. Surely he wouldn’t piss her off as well? Upset the missy, also? Don’t tell me your going to rebel by being a courtesan, too… A ploy to be humorous though it came a bit too gruff to get a crack of a smile or a little chuckle. Namely because she very well could, if she wanted to… and then… and then it would be his duty to be the good boy. To please everyone, even if it was impossible. Gawh. Futile, useless, but he was doing it anyway. Bet he was making daddy and mommy both proud! Or not. Oh well. Could be worse, he guessed. How, he had yet to figure out but… give him time and good incentive and he could very well come up with something. Perhaps. Wait! Here was a worse scenario - all this could be happening… and Kishkir could leave again! Yes, that would be much… much worse. And the best bit being that it was likely. Or, likely in the eyes of others. Personally he doubted that to an extreme… not that… if it did happen it’d change anything he had said to her… Mhmm, he tended to mean what he said and after saying ‘I love you’, there are few ways it can be interpreted differently… and not mean just that, ‘I love you’. Another rest. Another pause. His lung expanding, his lungs shrinking, a heart pounding… but only at a tolerable rate as the masculine creature came to a sluggish rate again, until of course he came to a very suitable ledge and allowed his golden buttocks to smack the rather rough contour of the rock. But, it was much smoother then other areas and had a much greater sight to behold. And beside that there was decent space allowed on this little patch of ledge. Enough so that one could rest easy that they wouldn’t make a little movement and somehow be cut by a gust and thrown off. Which he had heard could happen at an time but, never had he ever really seen it happen… then again he supposed if he saw it happen or experience it he really wouldn’t be alive to tell it? But, still… he did have a mind that was mighty tempted to simply mark it off as a F.O.A.F rumor… Sav’ the fact about the time he did he would be the victim of such an incident… “ Mhmm… wish she was herrreee.” He mumbled under his low, low voice. A small smile seeping into his features as his head was bowed to view the world below. Shoulders protruding on either side of a large mane, as he crouched to see the world below. How small it was, but how vast in reality. Despite the possible danger of this ascendance… he really was wondering why he did not ask Miss Kishkir to come alone… or even the whole pride. Symia, Sombra, Rana… they would enjoy this, as well, wouldn’t they? And maybe then the news that Kishkir was backl could be broke? Then they couldn’t get too angry. Up here you have to… pay mind… A rather devious smirk lifted him as he divvied up a cough to his thoughts. Yeah, he really should have asked his small family to come. As you identify less and less with the "me", you will be more at ease with everybody and with everything. Do you know why? Because you are no longer afraid of being hurt or not liked. You no longer desire to impress anyone. Can you imagine the relief when you don't have to impress anybody anymore? Oh, what a relief. Happiness at last! You no longer feel the need or the compulsion to explain things anymore. It's all right. What is there to be explained? And you don't feel the need or compulsion to apologize anymore. I'd much rather hear you say, "I've come awake," than hear you say, "I'm sorry". I'd much rather hear you say to me, "I've come awake since we last met; what I did to you won't happen again," than to hear you say, "I'm so sorry for what I did to you". [/i][/blockquote][/sub] _________________________________________________________
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Post by Lassiel on Aug 6, 2007 22:01:12 GMT -6
I can't wait for this to be finished. ^_^
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Post by Valid on Aug 12, 2007 11:34:56 GMT -6
xP Finished!
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Post by Lassiel on Aug 12, 2007 16:13:10 GMT -6
Lothril [/size] The unexamined life is not worth living.[/center] The world sometimes seemed to have a nasty habit of playing tricks on her, and it would be funny if it wasn't so damn annoying. If every time a new problem popped up it didn't threaten the stability of her pride. But...she was thinking of these sudden disappearances as 'problems' now, was she? Somehow that word seemed a bit degrading....Maybe she was just growing bitter. Ibalo leaving sure wasn't just 'a problem.' It had been...utterly devastating--to herself, and to their daughters. No...her daughters. He forfeited that right when he walked out on their young lives. Ha. And here she was sounding bitter again. But she prided herself on Almira and Tari, even if they had their faults like every other being had. For growing up without the presence of a father figure, she thought they did quite well. But then...her opinion could very well be biased.
So the pride was left king-less and she...adjusted, as well as she could. Ruled as best she could, despite her torn heart and worry over Ibalo's behalf. Back then (how long ago those words make it seem!) she still believed he had just disappeared for a few weeks, doing...kingly duties. And then the time lengthened, and she began to fear that something had happened to him. But....no news, no body ever appeared--and the horrible thought that he left her, without a word, took over her mind. The fear and sadness turned to anger and bitterness for...a long time. And then the time came when something close to acceptance entered her, though it could never be final. Always would there be that terrible thought--what if he did intend to come back, but was killed? And all she could think was how he abandoned their family? So she accepted he was gone, and not coming back--though she never accepted exactly why.
Then Deimos came. Deimos, with his mate and a promise of a future family. The family she was cheated out of. Looking back, she had been tough on him, angry that another had taken Ibalo's place. And then, just like before, he left! Left his pregnant mate alone. Lothril did not care for her, but she understood what she was going through, and pitied her, believing her fate would be the same. But no, Deimos returned, no longer the king but now is possession of a happy family. And then all four left. Hope returned to her that her own love would return, and she...hated that feeling. But of course, nothing happened and another leader appeared. Chi--that strange, wise lion who wondered why she was not spending time with her pride, as she should. He did not stick around long either, but for someone reason it did not surprise her. He was...different, and it did not make her angry. Wherever he ended up, she wished him the best, for he seemed to have gone through very difficult times in his life. For some reason, she could not be angry at him.
So three kings, within such a short period of time, were lost. The sense of humor the world had was...interesting. But she continued with her life and duties, and the time came when conversations with other pride members brought her out of her misery. She...could she actually be able to love another, though? Even though he left her, could she loose her own ties of loyalty to him? The Queen placed great value on loyalty and even if another betrayed her first, she could not always in good conscience forget her trust in them. But didn't she deserve some sort of...relief? By the heavens, she was still young! She still had an entire life ahead of her! Was it right that she spend it alone? But...what if the moment she gave what was left of her heart to another, Ibalo returned? She would be forced to make a decision, and one way or the other, she would be disloyal to someone. Ahhhh...fear was such a powerful motivation to do nothing.
Her paws carried a lean, rich gold body up the land, carefully treading over loose rocks and earth. No, it would not do to take a fall here and find her death. She did not fear it because then she would be...nothing. But she did not think it was her time yet. There were still so many things to enjoy, and the one foremost in her heart was the strengthening of her pride...her family. Even without a king, they were growing. How wonderful her family was...each lioness so strong in her own way. And Crow, their single male who although not a king, was willing to stick around. But why was she climbing around on an overgrown hill all the way out here, far from her lands? Especially when she had decided Chi was right in his suggestion that she stay with them? There were several reasons. A desire to see the lands around her and keep an eye out for any dangers that could effect Akina. A time to give her daughters a chance to practice ruling without her guiding presence. And...admittedly....a chance to just explore like a cub again. Never forgetting your childhood was good for the soul.
She continued on her way, leaping now and then to get past steeper places and once landing precariously on the edge. Lithe, agile body moved quickly, claws gripping the earth as she bounded away from what would have been a nearly bone shattering fall at the best--and she moved onward unshaken. And while we're on the topic of dear Lothril's life, how about the Ari pride? From the rumors going around, relationships with everyone in that family weren't...going so well. Not well at all. She trusted both her daughters to do the right thing when it came down to it...but Almira worried her a tad. Her eldest daughter could have a nasty temper, and if any from that family treated her or--heaven forbid!--Tari without respect...she would tear into them. And then of course, there was that oh so interesting tidbit that Sileree's young niece was wanting to join...they were sure in for a strange ride in the coming months.
The golden lioness paused when she came to a rougher section, the rocks spread haphazardly across the earth. But the terrain did not cause her hesitation--it was the scent of a male a short distance ahead of her. Her golden eyes rolled to the sky for a moment, as if asking why the world thought this was funny. Hadn't this happened to her last time she left Akina lands? She had attempted to saunter on by without starting a conversation then, but it had failed. The lioness snorted. Might as well not even try this time. A determined air settled about her. Even if this particular male was the sort who would not hesitate to take advantage of a lioness, the season was over and she would be safe from such a thing. At least something can go my way. And if he was the violent sort? Well, that'd be a bit more complicated...but she was certain that on ground requiring careful maneuvering, she could eventually out-pace him if the need arose.
And here she was, always looking at the things in the worst possible light. But no...she preferred the thought that she was just being prepared. She certainly would not start a fight. She walked steadily for quite a bit before she came upon the ledge where an older lion sat. Now closer, his scent was more telling of him and his life. He smelled of dominance--the type Lothril knew she carried as well. And there was another one there, strange to her nose but one she still recognized--humans. Kipukusa's old king, are you? Then we are both away from our home, and neither has a reason to complain. She watched him for a bit, contemplating. What could it hurt? There were no relations between their pride, and word was that he was a benevolent king--maybe too benevolent, if the rumors about the lioness were correct. But she was not one to speak, and could hardly judge him if she herself had not decided what would happen if Ibalo returned. Maybe...maybe in this these two pride leaders could find a common ground and ensure good relations between the Akina and Yaizux in the future.
She neared the other, certain he had scented her as well, but moving her paws a bit more noisily just in case. His quite statement reached her, and a slight smirk played on her face. Well, at least there wouldn't be an awkward moment where she just sat by one she knew next to nothing of. Since I'm certain I'm not the one you're wishing were here, I'm very sorry. The Akina Queen settled next to him gracefully, the distance between them one befitting strangers. You might just have to deal with me, for the time being. Humor seemed to be a...as good as any way to begin a conversation.
"Loyalty is still the same,
Whether it win or lose the game;
True as a dial to the sun,
Although it be not shined upon." |
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Post by Valid on Aug 12, 2007 21:29:37 GMT -6
Because
Lay me in my [/size] C O F F I N[/size] and burry me[/size] A L I V E_______________________________________________[/center] Stories, rumors… Word of mouth was a powerful thing. A powerful thing indeed, a perfect tool for those who desired something. One could use the word of the masses to bend things to pleasing forms. Fear… hate… suspicion… communicated through others by mouth, by speech. Lies, truths… He had done much in way of passing invalid information onward to make sure things went smoothly, as smooth as they could and because of that he knew that most of the fables spread were unfounded little concoctions of a bored mind - or a mind that desired a certain event. And yet… And yet this darling had word on about her. It varied from the fact that she had murdered the poor men, being the practiced man-eater she was, to her constant bickering had made them run off. Humorous it was how such information contrasted, to the point the couldn’t make heads or tails and the only thing he could be assured of was that she had run through three men. How, why, or… any other detail was unknown. Not that such mattered to him… even if one was naturally curious about others and the lives they led, but, he figured it this way - The more he knew about others, the more others new about him and he wasn’t fascinated with the idea his business was thrown about so casually in common conversations. He enjoyed privacy… even if he had little of it… But who was he to complain?
He noticed the lassie quickly enough. Scent came when scent came but, his eyes had yet to flicker or muscles go about tensing. He thought it rather idiotic to do a tango so high up in an area so unstable. Pardon him, but… he’d save any brawling for the ground… where one didn’t have to worry about meeting an unfortunate fate after a short flight because of a misstep. Not that all thought the same but, surely the girl, seeing as she was Queen and, however she had done it, lasted through three Kings… was smart enough to agree. Something he had faith in, you see… Not that he should after everything and anything. War served to bring about how stupid people really… really are. How foolish, how pitiful, how… eh, what was the word? Hard to describe but, after war one knew that, though you could figure it ‘Duh’, there’d still be a fool who’d walk into the most obvious of traps. Never was wise to underestimate, but overestimating wasn’t clever either. Why intelligence was much, much, much essential. All brawn and no brain and you’ll end up thrashing a wall instead of your enemy. Though such could work in reverse, also… All brain and you’ll never have the strength to strike where, and where, it matters. Balance is key, as it always will be. Balance… and ingenuity. Funny how that works, no? Creativity and resourcefulness are also aspects? Mhmm… when you think about it… not really…
“Aww, you're not that bad, are you? [/color]” He cooed, jokingly of course, as his eyes remained on the scenery. An ear turning in her direction as she took a seat. Company usually wasn’t bad. Of course he’d never say never because there… were people he detested and people it was hard for him to… talk with. But those people tended to be people many had a hard time with. Which excluded Madame Lothril… she had quite a pride, yes? Growing it was in the more swampy areas. Areas he had wandered into a previous time, ‘tis where Symia was found, you see… But back then the terrain was not in anyone’s possession so he supposed… that and alongside the fact she didn’t seem the type to nurse a grudge for such reasons, she wasn’t here to seek some sort of compensation? Mhmm… now that was rather cold and rather mechanical. Unfeeling and slightly out of place in the pool of emotions. And from the looks and sounds and the ‘feel’ that resonated from the darling? Didn’t seem the case… But seeing wasn’t always believing, was it? And fantasy wasn’t always that far from reality, either. Though things were, they won’t always be and… the rest of the yabber that narrowed down to - ‘My instinct may say, but my instinct may be wrong’. Which was, perhaps, what she had going inside her head, too? May-be. “ Don’t look that sinister.[/b]” He commented allowed, a friendly enough expression filling his features, a grin on his mug as his eyes were finally pealed away and settled on the Madame, as it wasn’t truly polite to simply not look at one’s company, wasn’t it? “ Meant as a compliment, naturally.[/color]” He added. What he saw wasn’t what he was expecting. Seemed the rumors tended to embellish quite much. Girlie held a… rather dominate and somewhat intimidating air. Definitely one of those ‘Leader’ types, you know? Personally he couldn’t say he was really the ‘Leader’ type… it was just… he tended to be stuck with the job, the task, the duty and he wasn’t the one to complain and yap… He knew being a King was… something to be thought of as great and brilliant. He also knew it was not right to act as if one was ashamed of the role or as if one didn’t want it. Be humble, yes? Be passively satisfied or glad, or content that you even are of ‘royal’ claim. Even if you didn’t feel any different and you know, for a fact, that being a follower or being a loner was ever easier and ever more pleasingly ‘free’ then this duty, this position in life. And besides he should be happy, right? He was doing now what he wanted to. He had wanted to make a family, somewhere safe and some where… away from the chaos and the havoc and the blood and the rage and the anger. Even if he failed… in his own opinion. His Pride tended to shatter often then not and he didn’t seem… fit for his role. He was a loyal boy… And he thought of many of the members of his family as dear friends and little sisters and cousins and daughters. He thought of this as… family. Which was good, one supposed, but the fact of the matter is a Lion King is husband to every woman in his pride. Not brother, not friend… husband and he wasn’t sure… if he was really interested in breeding with… someone who he thought of as a sister and as a dear friend and as a daughter - oh… heaven… he… was very much not interested in that. Even if he should not think them in that light and should not not be interested. A confusing mess, it was, a pride… Because the virtues… just didn’t seem to really set well, did they? After all surely it was a virtue to be moral, and being moral didn’t include knocking boots with your sister or daughter? He could be faithful and loving and would have no problem being the sire to someone’s children. If that someone was one he loved… But how could he be honest and faithful and loving, and be real about it, when his duty spoke that he was to be all that to every woman? Damn, damn, damn confusing and… he couldn’t make sense of it, really. Use to the big, huge prides… where the King could have any woman he choose but he… wasn’t required to, yah? Required to produce heirs but not required to… Another reason why I never liked Prides, in my history. They weren’t… real. Ever fake, ever… disgusting, eve degrading. A pride is just one little boy and the toys he throws around and plays with. A solemn, yet rather vicious thought. Yeah, he definitely did not think this out too much, did he? Then again he didn’t… figure… “ My name is Because, by the way. I think it’s safe to say since we both know we are of the same… 'standing', so we can just leave the formal ranks off, maybe?” He asked. [/blockquote][/sub] _________________________________________________________
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Post by Lassiel on Aug 14, 2007 16:01:18 GMT -6
Lothril [/size] The unexamined life is not worth living.[/center] Murdered them? The thought was laughable. So she was the Black Widow of the Marsh now, was she? Hmmmm. An...interesting title, no doubt. But then, that was one of the many prices one paid for being a ruler, was it not? Never to have a minute of your life that isn't studied and torn apart by others. People always wishing to either tear you down to the lowest, darkest abyss or raise you up on a pedestal so impossibly high that you are bound to fall. As a leader of one of the five prides, privacy was a myth. And with family members breaking apart and finding their own way...well, soon bits and pieces of everyones' lives will be known throughout the lands. But of course, these pieces will be stretched beyond the truth, perhaps leading to envy and anger between the prides--which could be good for no one...save the hyenas, maybe. How they would relish a war between the lions! But then...that is why everything one heard must be taken with a grain of salt. For instance, she had heard of the problem concerning the young Ari princess in Kinamsai--but she would not act upon it. There was a chance the truth had been embellished, and to confront the King and Queen about it would be foolish. But even if it was true, the incident could be looked over as the mistake of a naive girl who had yet to grow into her wisdom. Certainly not something to start a war over. Indeed, there were few things important enough in the world to...mmm...justify?...the killing of others.
An eyebrow rose at his comment as if to say 'And how do you know?' Perhaps, as the rumors dictated, she had murdered the kings, leaving her alone to bask in the glory of being a Queen. But as we already know, such ideas have been dismissed by the Lady herself as ridiculous and the eyebrow was really only meant an an inquiry to go on. Hold a grudge when the land was not hers at that time? Mmm, no. But were it to be on land that her pride did control, it may have been a problem. Truly, it would have mattered on how it all came about. But that is not the case today, is it? Deep gold eyes turned on her companion as she felt him face her, meeting a kind looking lion, though one could never be sure with such things. But if you did not take risks, where was the fun in life? Though this didn't seem much of a risk, as there was just a feeling that he would do no harm. And if he was a not so nice king, the rumors would have been about the terror he held, and not the lioness that he may have forgiven. Heh...Really was always better to form your own opinions, which was what she intended to do with him. Of course. Her voice was soft and confident with a hint of humor in it.
Lothril of Akina--and I agree. Though truly, I do not care for titles within my own pride, so long as everyone is respected. Breaking the long gaze, she turned toward the scene in front of her. A breathtaking view it was, and a desire for the land to remain unclaimed filled her, so every beast could enjoy the sight. It made one feel...so very small, in the giant scheme of things, to witness such a vast tract of land. Oh yes, she always knew the size of the world was immense,but to see it like this was very humbling. She could see a ruined village in the distance--the home of the one who set next to her--but her own lands could not be seen. They are as family, are they not? Facing him again and continuing her thoughts. And among family, titles of power are not needed. But perhaps it was easier for a woman to think of them as family without stepping on any morals. Though expected to bear cubs, she was not expected to sleep with each and every male in the pride. And so long as that one male was not a father--a brother--or any other such relative, she could deal with the results. Lucky, she was, that she did love her mate and was not forced to make a decision of morality.
The politics of being in a pride were confusing, at best. But when one compared that to the uncertainty of being alone, of being forced to raise a family away from the safety of the group--the risk was well worth it. Even young males, when kicked out of their home, tended to form a small group together. Yes, she was a strong believer in prides, and maybe that was why she took leadership upon herself. To make it work--to provide a place where those who were not up to being on their own, for whatever reason, could find a place to belong. In her mind, leadership did not revolve around ordering others to make you comfortable. It was a job in which your sole duty was to make sure everyone else was content and getting along, that your pride would survive . What would you be doing, if you did not have this responsibility on you?
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Post by Valid on Aug 19, 2007 20:16:34 GMT -6
I'm braindead, I'm sorry. Work on it later tomorrow, if I have time. -frowns- School starts this week.
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Post by Valid on Aug 29, 2007 19:44:08 GMT -6
Because
Lay me in my [/size] C O F F I N[/size] and burry me[/size] A L I V E_______________________________________________[/center] The killing of others was an interesting topic. One he pondered many a days. You see though he wasn’t especially smart way back when he was quite crafty and witty, if only in his defense towards the meaningless blood shed and strife caused by his acts, and the acts of his brothers in arms. And yet things change, if only slightly and how fickle is one’s beliefs and thoughts… it would surprise none to know his position on killing has changed multiple times during his life. He… agreed it was not wise to kill someone without cause. If one did that then murder has lost it’s edge. You see… beat the dog every day for any and every reason and the dog becomes broken and no longer cares. But if you whip the dog, and smack the rump if only because of bad behavior… the dog learns. Do you see? The same is with murder. If only somewhat so in only in certain circumstances. During war it seems people lose perspective. That ‘death toll’ no longer carries the weight. People just see it as a number, but they don’t understand that that number is the number of lives. Think of the family, think of the countless people who knew that one person. Think f what that person was going through, what he had in his future. His future cut short. He was a person, not a number, not a statistics but a person. The more one kills the more one forgets. The more that are killed, the more the others forget. No life is insignificant or meaningless. No life. And yet how hard it seemed for others to remember… How harder yet for them to know that war can be easily avoided… and how the ego and the sinful pride should be left at the door when dealing with politics and the like.
Though the rumors said she killed her husbands the rumors said other things. Those other things were false so the likelihood the others were also, was just as much. He could tell she was not… so because of his intuition. What a fabulous sense it was and how accurate it was, oh my! He did not feel as if she was that person, her eyes, her positioning, her body, they said so. Remember this about ‘Oh, your lips! Your lips say no but your eyes! Ah, your eyes! They say yes!’? A bit like that was this now. A bit. Mhmm, nonetheless he was simply thrilled when her ‘of course’ came about. Good, she wasn’t totally corrupt or out of her mind. Of course naturally everyone that was anyone was a bit out of it, but, not entirely! He recalled days when people enjoyed being buff, mean and nasty. When appearances mattered ever much and the more ferocious, gruesome, and… well, badass one looked the better. And any compliment was a straight up insult punishable by death. He recalled those days having been one of the fools who were like that. Per say. Looking big and bad was big back then. The more you looked like it, the less others would want to rebel and fight against ya. Fear tactics… for fear was the best asset one could ever have. It helped in being remembered and having that reputation being spread life wildfire, like an outbreak, an epidemic. It made less work, made it so you only had to set the occasional example instead of numerous. You see, even back then he didn’t have a particular blood lust… he didn’t lust it, but nor did he shy from it. A rather nice balance, nah? A rather nice balance, nah?
He listened to her words, for you see as said so many times now that seemed to be something he did. Listen. If only because he had nothing better to do or because he was deathly interested, listening, listening, listening he did… even if listening never seemed to help in those critical of situations. What mattered was being able to act, and act in the right way and… oh my it seemed he failed so deeply in that area. But, no matter the subject was turned to titles within the family. Personally he lacked an opinion, for personally he didn’t care. It felt odd being called ‘Sir’, ‘Sire’, ‘Your Majesty’, ‘My King’, ‘My Lord’. It simply felt odd, for so ever long he had been no man’s king and for so long he was either called a rather “inappropriate” word or simply ‘Because’. Being called ‘Chief’, ‘Boss’, ‘General’… that was something he was more use to. More use to if only because of his military-like lifestyle a long while past. But truth be known he didn’t care so much what word they used for him. Nor did he feel any need to demand respect. They could respect him, or not. For, truth be known he couldn’t think of any reason, any cause for anyone to respect him. Revere him, perhaps but not for the right reasons. Still, if another of his pride had a problem with this respect and titles perhaps he would bend. Though he did not care, perhaps others did and perhaps he should be regarding that. Sounded good. Sounded reasonable. It even made sense. And wasn’t that the thing? Seemed truths lacked ‘making sense’ now a days… Not that he could complain. This ‘Making Sense’ thing, he had an itch that said he wasn’t doing a thing to change the ‘Lack of Sense’.
“I would…” What a wonderful question. One he had to think about, truly think about. What would he be doing if he wasn’t doing this? It was a difficult question for it was one that bit into bone. That surpassed muscle, tissue, skin, fur and that desired to carve it’s way to the marrow. It was a Core Question… and because of that he liked it. What would he be doing if he was not doing this? If he had never had that thought? He would be walking and bleeding. Or would he? He would have had that thought sooner or later, this he thought to himself. And to think of never having that thought… Never having that thought, never having this pride, never meeting Kishkir? One who made his heart ache so? He would have never met back with Rana either. He would be alone and he would be traveling alongside nightmares and horror. He would… perhaps have succumb to his old ways, too. And if he did that there was little question if he would have been dead. “I think this way is the only way. If not this path then there would be no others, or any others that would not curve back to this one. Happiness lies along this shadowed way, my joy, my desire, everything that means anything to me. If I did not have this responsibility, I would have no responsibility and without one… I would be lost.” He tilted his head, not minding the sudden seriousness that had come. Seriousness he batted away with a laugh. One that was far from authentic, joyful, and generous but one that was warm and convincing. He was a good actor, good enough anyway… “You, my sugarspice?” He inquired, playfully as his eyes flickered to her. Attentive he was, curious to boot.
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Post by Lassiel on Aug 30, 2007 21:45:19 GMT -6
Lothril [/size] The unexamined life is not worth living.[/center] Golden eyes shifted from the mountain scenery to the one next to her, gaze attentive as his voice rolled from him, taking the question seriously. Which was fine, she supposed. More of a chance to understand him--which seemed to be something she desired. To know others and their little quirks, what makes them laugh and cry, what they would die for and why. In this knowledge, unwanted events could be avoided--misunderstandings, wars and its accompanying deaths. But...she supposed she was not all that gifted in such a talent--it had merely become a dream to aspire to, but one never to be gained. Too stubborn, she was, to ever truly understand another's viewpoint. And too often did such a desire become a need to pry into another's life. But what one gave away willingly...well, that was a different matter entirely. I think this way is the only way. Mmmm...a strange answer, an unexpected one. It intrigued her, and her head tilted slightly in an unconscious gesture to go on.
The curiosity written in her face disappeared as his eyes fell on her, being replaced by a strange look of amusement at the nickname. Sugarspice? That was...new, no doubt. I must say, I have not heard that name before. Coming from some young upstart, the term would have been quickly batted away, with the offending boy perhaps given a swift knock on the head in warning. But a look at b]his playful eyes and hearing his warm laugh was more than enough for one to decide that he meant nothing of it. Perhaps he just had a strange custom of giving others a unique name. A soft chuckle sounded in her mind. If that were so, what on earth made 'Sugarspice' hers? But on to other things...what would she be doing? To give a true answer, it would require much thought, for it was a 'what if' question, and when it came down to it a soul just couldn't know. Yet...yes...Lothril knew what she would do. As soon at it came to her, she knew that it would be the only choice, just as this was the only path for Because. I would search for someone I lost. My...mate...
The words whispered in her mind. How strange it was to still call him that! Yet was that not what he was? Even though he disappeared, she had not taken another, had not denounced him, and most certainly not forgotten him. And hadn't she wondered about him for two years now? Others, she knew, would have given up long ago and found another--but she did not really pride herself in her fidelity to him. The others...they were able to continue on with their lives, and work to become completely at peace. But for herself....all because of that rather large damnable amount of loyalty, she was knowingly chaining herself to the fence. But she just could not, in good conscience, give up on him. What if he had met his death, and had been planning on returning all along? She could not betray him, if that were the case. And so she denied herself closure. She was not a fool--she knew there was a chance he had simply left. But she would walk the rest of her life alone, if it were needed. I would search for answers, at the least. Her voice was quiet, nearly whispered in the mountain air, somber gaze flickering toward the Old King next to her before focusing elsewhere.
ooc: I'm sorry this isn't longer--I really planned on it to be. But you've waited long enough for this post, so I'll go ahead and say it's finished. Next one will be much better.
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