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Post by Vox on Sept 1, 2007 20:01:18 GMT -6
It was very troubling...The whole matter stank of dirty politics and she hated it when she had to fight something she couldn't see. It was a low blow, very low. She was expected to do all these things, and on top of that she was at her most vulnerable. Keira had snuck away, gone on hiatus for her heat. It was supposed to be a sacred time--but in reality, it felt like crap. The darkness suited her, and she lay in it's blanketed depths in a very wasted sort of way. The caves soothed her, and she needed something soothing. Mind reeling in half insanity, she had done some pretty stupid stuff until she had the sense to hide herself away. She had been like this for days, just lying there. Nibbling steadily through an abandoned carcass she had found there. The floor was icy cold against her body, which seemed to be tender everywhere. Dreams had been troubling her, very bad dreams. Although she was two already, she felt very young, very weak and unprotected. The dreams were of her and three desperate cubs scratching at her. She sobbed at them that she was trying, doing her best to feed them. But she was thin, too thin...The male she had trusted had abandoned her and her milk had dried up. Then the dream changed, she was nudging her cold children to get up but they wouldn't...Then the images flashed through her mind, with enough force to give her a headache. Brooke, dead; Angel, dead; Hathor, fighting hyenas; Her cubs, dead; And all her efforts to unite the Akina and the Ari had failed. Everything was dead, gone. Nothing was the same. Then she woke, shivering. A similar shiver made her young body tremble, and she curled up into a tighter ball. Her parents had always told her not to think bad thoughts, not to dwell over bad dreams...But it was so real. A wave of cold air hit her, or was it her mind playing games on her. Raising her crazed, bloodshot eyes to stare blankly ahead, Keira was a sad sight. Her beautiful face, once filled with passion and sensuality was now marred with dirt and tears. Sweat, blood and a thick smell of fish filled the air around her. Neglect...The air stank of it.
Why did she do this? Keira was not usually a self-less girl, normally she just took care of herself...But maybe the whole 'Pride mentality' was starting to sink in. Why did she have to do this to herself just for her family? Her family that had never once praised her. They had loved her, or had they? She had certainly thought so when she had lived with them...But now, things were less clear and the young lioness was unsure of it. The Akina were welcoming enough, and she liked Almira and Tari very much...But she felt a little excluded. It had been an illusion, and things had not gone according to plan. Her aunt was gone with her new man, or whatever, and Lothril was very busy. Secretly, Keira preferred Lothril as a mother. She always wished she had had the stoic lioness as a role model when she was growing up, and her burning envy for Almira and Tari set her apart even more. Hot anger blazed up in her and she let out a snarl. She was alone, so why should she not talk to herself? "Why couldn't I have picked a different, better family to be born into?! It isn't fair! I've had to deal with their crap my whole life, my mother's ranting and immaturity, my father being too tolerant for anybodies good and my idiot sisters hogging the limelight! It's never been about me! I never got any attention! It was always 'sit down, Keira, your sisters are hunting now' or 'Keira, you eat last, you didn't do any work', 'Keira, watch Brooke while I hunt'! Keira this! Keira that!" Her voice rose to a shriek, and her last words were a vehement hiss. Instead of alleviating her feeling of neglect and hatred, her fit had increased them. It was not healthy to scream, though some people thought it was. You were releasing bad energy into the world, and trust me the world doesn't need any more of that. Keira believed that, and she was the last thing from a neo-hippie, problematic-vegan {my word...xDD} or whatever else you want to call eccentric folk. A snort shattered the ringing echoes that had followed her heated screams. She shook her head, rolled her eyes and then dilated her pupils so she could peer more effectively through the darkness. Did anybody care about her? " Somewhere in the wide-world, darling, there is a computer nerd who thinks you're gorgeous, m'kay? Now shut up and move... " A voice snapped at her. A loud, very vulgar suggestion as to where that voice could stick his head was spoken, and the lioness relaxed her body and let her mind drift off.
|ooc| : Most of this very depressing post was adapted from a page in my journal from my 4th grade writing book. It was a pain to write out, but seeing as Keira represents me, I thought it would be unrealistic if she didn't go through the same as me. Except, since this is fake I dramatized it so 'cave' was an actual cave instead of a dark place to cry and hide from the world.
P.S I was in a very bad school back then, so if any of you can relate to that...
P.S.S xD I hate this post. I just realized that. [/blockquote] |
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