In_a_wOrLd_that_doesn't_C . A . R . E .

[Kamaria]

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

The Road Not Taken
~ Robert Frost

There's a place that I go
That nobody knows
Where the rivers flow
And I call it home
And theres no more lies
And the darkness is light
And nobody cries
Theres only butterflies

[Kamaria]

There is an aspect of life that we all learn as young cubs
But we all take these lessons very differently
Seeing them as either good or bad
And taking that into our mind in order to keep from those situations.

A harsh dry season became a death time. While the brothers and my father faught, my mother fled, for she knew her cubs would be killed when they were born by the two brothers that were sure to take over the pride. But, though my mother was right in running, for the pride was destroyed by the brothers' own tanacity, she was forced into a hard time. As she was not used to beng on her own in a hunt, as there were always other lionesses to hunt with, she could not cope well enough to her new life. And when the cubs born, I was the only one strong enough to survive. And so I did my best for Mother as she became sick, and she would not heal. I hunted though I was clearly not skilled at it, and I faught off spiraling vultures and the ever popular hyenas. I stayed by her body as I finally let the come closer, or I couldn't chase them off. The terrible time of mourning should not be experienced so soon, but that is the one thing I learned in my short cub-hood. Misery is always before death, though some wish she wasn't, and she always lingers to make sure their work is done. At that moment I wanted to chase Misery away, but of course that was impossible. When others saw me they called me by the Luganda name of Gwandoya, for I never told anyone else the name my mother had given me. The name suits me, for it is the lesson I learned at that young stage when nothing is forgotten. I was Met by Misery.

But I learned quickly, or I would have died long ago. But, remarkably, I have survived two years and do not plan to give up my hard work for anything simple.

I find myself circling one small pride, if you can call it that, for there are only two in it. I wander if the female is the male's mate, but I am almost certain she isn't. But something about this pride draws me closer, though I know nothing of what lures me in. Perhaps it is the instinct to be with others of my kind, and perhaps it is my instinct to hunt with another female, to defend others as I should. Though I usually keep to myself, I am contemplating on speaking with the male. Perhaps that is why I circle, coming ever closer to the small pride. The scent of the male might be the lure for my instinct to mate at some point, though I am not sure I will stick around this male long enough, for he might just reject me. But I soon discover that the male is not the Ruler. And I have made this pride mine, and if I can help it, it will stay mine until I am too old to defend my position.

And mine is Misery.

As long as life ends in Death,
Misery will always live.

Where am I? [threads she is involved in] Contemplations I speak with Taser and gain entry to the pride.
/Thread is not finished\

Know that there is always a place for you in my heart.

I barely know you. [aquaintences] I have only just met Taser, though I am terribly intrigued by this lion.
Nothing can hurt you when I am there. [loyalties and friends] I have met few, but hopefully there will be some that I can call 'friend'.
You are more to me than the earth I stand on. [lover] I do not trust those I have just met, and so I have no one to love.
Even when you grow apart from me, I will always love you. [children] I long for them, but cubs continue to evade me.
I hold your word high, please don't shatter this delicate feeling. [trust] Very few have the privilage of meeting me, and so they do not get the chance to know what it feels like to have my trust.

[Kamaria]

When you give your word, it is difficult to keep it.
When you keep your word, it is easy to give it.

As a cub I was happy, with three siblings to practice with and a mother who cared. If there was ever a time that I was unhappy as a young cub it was when I was alone. And as I grew, it soon became apparent that I was stronger than my brother, though he was strong in his own ways. My brother had a good mind, always one to think things through, as I often forgot in my young days. Though he was strong where I was weak, he was weak where I was strong. My brother and I were complete opposites, but we got along better than our sisters. The two of my sisters were always quarreling, whether it be over something silly like which was prettier, to something as eventful as which was the better hunter.

When our mother died on a hunt, Kuri was devastated, and I moruned for a while, but I had been brought up to know that things die and in their place others live on. So Kuri and I left the pride, wandering together for a long time, for we could help each other and survive better than if we were alone. Eventually, we took over a pride and protected it with great tenacity. Kuri found a mate, while I instinctively took my place as defender of the pride. But Kuri left afterwards, saying he was not fit to lead a pride, though I could see right through it. Kuri was going to die soon and he knew it, but he didn't want to be in the pride when the time came. So I let him go and said my good-byes, and then took up both of our positions. I still did not find a mate, though I looked after Kuri's former mate as a favor to him. When I saw a pair of young males on the horizon, I told her that if they came near to run and keep away from the pride. She did not oppose me, and nodded solemnly.

When the males finally did approach, I met them away from the lionesses. I told them to leave my pride lands, though they merely laughed. I made my threats, and they made their own, but I was not one to back down. And that day we fought, each of them taking their turns at me, but I fought of each of the attacks. Soon they figured out they were not going to beat me this way. And at dusk we separated to heal our wounds and regain strength. The lionesses cared for me, and I glanced at Kuri's mate. She understood, but did not leave right away, but rather waited until the next time I would fight the two males and then she would get away while they were distracted. The next day, at dawn, I went and met the two brothers again, and put up a fight, but this time they both came at me at the same time, and I knew I would not be able to defeat them. I resigned the pride to them, something that disappointed the lionesses, though I am sure they understood. I left as they moved off to claim the territory as theirs. I stood on the outskirts and watched the lionesses. Kuri's mate was not there. Good. I trotted off to make my life as a loner, and heard of my neice hunting for her sick mother. The lions gave her a name, as they all knew her situation but did not know her name. They called her Gwandoya, meaning Met by Misery, and I knew this was true for the cub.

As I wander from place to place, carefully avoiding pride lands, only stepping upon unclaimed territories to hunt, I watch for others. I hope to find a lioness to start my own pride, though I do not hold these hopes too high, in the fear that they will come tumbling down.

I say, I do.

I am Ekwueme

Losers make promises they often bre ak.
Winners make commitments they always keep.
~Denis Waitley

[Kamaria]

Wounds do not heal well if you don't know what medicine to use.
Scars will form when they do finally heal, no matter how long it takes.
Memories will last forever, etched into those scars like carvings in stone.
And yet, I feel no pain from any of these terrible aspects of life.

My mother sat under a tree, watching me. I remember looking at her, pausing from my game of chase with a grasshopper. I remember that tender, gentle smile that crossed her face as she met my gaze. I smiled back at her, and turned back to my game of chase. Mother often stopped to let me play and rest whenever I pleased, for we were almost never in a hurry. Calego, my brother, had fallen behind four sunrises ago, and we hadn't seen him since. Of course, we went back to look for him, but mother always left before we could get any real searching done, for there was always the threat of the large pride that was growing. She would always call me back when I got too far away, and I would go back to her, sensing the tension in her like the suspense in an open book.

I missed my brother, although he was utterly useless. Mother and I tried to coax him into getting off his rump to do something, but he always got up for barely five seconds before flopping back down to the dirt, breathing like he'd been running for hours. Calego had been the only thing in this world besides my older mother that I could relate to. But now mother and I were on a hunt, and there was no room for memories in a crucial time like this. I flashed a look at mother, and she motioned to a young buck, an antelope. I nodded slightly, and crept closer, silent on sleek paws. And finally, I leaped, rushing at the young antelope before he knew what was happening. I flushed him out, herding him toward my mother. He fell for it, becoming more and more separated from the herd. And finally, Mother leaped, and the terrified bellow from our prey was cut short by her strong teeth. I smiled at her, and together we took the meal back to a shady tree. Mother was a great hunter, and she survived well on her own. Together we made a great team, and I was enjoying our time together. But then that fateful day came.

Four years ago, I had gone exploring, for we had been traveling for a while and decided to rest. I was curious about my surroundings, and Mother told me she thought it was safe for me to explore. So I left her on curious paws, and son I could not see her anymore. I went farther away, still so adventurous. But the death call of a zebra made me turn back, for I knew mother had hunted, and that I had been away for longer than I'd meant to. but soon, as I was trotting back to my mother, in no hurry, a threatening roar and a loud snarl, coming from my mother, made me start running. I ran in panic, for I was young and didn't know what was happening. When I finally caught sight of my mother, my eyes widened in shock and fear. But then my anger kicked up, and I sped forward. But I didn't get there in time. He already had his jaws around her neck, and she was dead. Seeing me coming, he dropped my mother and picked up the caracass of the zebra. I snarled after him, threats that couldn't ever be carried out. I turned to my mother's body, and looked down at her. Her eyes were closed, and she looked pretty peaceful, except for the blood around her neck. I couldn't cry. There was nothing there. My eyes wouldn't fill with salty water, only dry sobs came as I stood above my mother's limp body. I sat near here, and over time the buzzards and vultures became hungry and they started swooping down. When this began, I left my mother behind, patching up the deep woud that went almost derectly through my heart, but stopped short. I couldn't let this get the best of me. There was still life ahead, and there was much I could to to improve my future.

Seven months ago, I was left alone by a male I had come to trust, and now it had been shattered. He had only stayed to spread his genes, and then had left me to fend for myself. I swore I would never trust a male again, but I knew that was almost impossible. I was pregnant and alone, left to hunt for myself. I knew that once my belly got bigger, it would slow me down and I would be reduced to a scavenger for the time being. Ugh. The thought of being a lowly scavenger bugged me to no end. But it had to be done. When the single cub was born about three months after the male had left me, he was pretty healthy. He reminded me a little of my brother, only it was clear he was not as lazy. He was very active, and soon he was walking and talking with no end. I loved him dearly, for he was my only company and he was something to protect. But first time mothers will make mistakes. Mine was being too hasty. One day we were traveling, about three months after he was born, and he was ambling along behind me, curious about just about everything and I let him stop, for I was in no hurry. But suddenly the scent of two male lions caught my attention. My instinct was to run, and I did, for I was caught up in the fact that they were dangerously close. I left Bakar standing on the side of the path, and I know he tried to follow me and catch up, but he wasn't fast enough. I didn't realize until I was too late to get to him, for fear that the two males had already found him. And so I left him behind as well, knowing that the wound would take a while to heal, but it would eventually. I went on with my traveling ways, eventually ending up in a mountain with many cliffs and ledges. I made my home there for the past month, and I rather like it there.

I have found my son after a long month. We have traveled to the caves that are said to be haunted--though I found nothing to prove these theories-- and we encountered an aquaintance. Virgil. This intimidating and stubborn lion assisted me in defending Bakar from a clan of hyenas, and for the time being we have decided to travel together. We will see how far this goes, and what happens along the way.

Because they are all things of the past.

Ysega

[/size]

The destruction of the past is perhaps the greatest of all crimes.
Simone Weil

I am here.[threads she is in] clear&cold::The North Wind Calls I speak with Virgil, the strange white lion. He is different from others, and already he has earned my respect.
/Thread is finished\
Back to the Old Days Bakar and I encounter Virgil once more, and after a battle with a hyena clan, decide to travel together for the time being.
/Thread is Finished\

Lions that have entered my life, if only for a breif moment.

We have only just met. [aquaintences] Virgil. I find that you are very helpful in difficult situations, even if your words are sour. But I can not help but wonder what troubles you after our latest meeting.
Ntombi I have only just met you, and yet I feel I can relate to you. You are a mother, I can see it in your eyes. However, you seem to to like to talk, where I would rather just think.
I will protect you with my life. [friends and loyalties] I have no loyalties, and none that I can truly call 'friend'.
You are the Northern Sky of my life. [lover] Again, I have none to call friend, and so I have no one to call a lover.
You are my heirs, and I will always love you. [children] I have only one cub, whom I call Bakar. We have been reunited after a long month apart.
You have earned my loyalty, and so you have earned my trust. [trusts] I believe I have come to trust Virgil, though I know how unpredictable he can be. We shall see what happens to this trust.

[Kamaria]

There is no one to talk to.
No one to protect me while I travel.
No siblings to share my loneliness.
No mother to keep me out of harms way.

I love my mother dearly, and I know she never meant to leave me behind. I know that everything points to the contrary, but I just know she didn't really mean to leave me. I wish I could have kept up, but she went too fast. I still don't know what spooked her so much, but it must have been something bad. I never smelled them until they were standing in front of the shrub I was hiding under. But they passed and didn't look for me, and I am glad of that. But I am getting ahead of myself.

We were walking along, slow, for we were in now hurry to get anywhere. She was walking ahead and I was following behind. But I got distracted by a butterfly and she noticed that I was no longer following. She turned and watched me, smiling in amusement. I chased the butterfly around near the path we were following. It was basically just a wide strip of dirt, but occasionally big, loud, roaring beasts would rumble along, and some would stop and hideous bald things inside would look at us. I always thought the beasts were going to eat us, but Mother just ignored them. I felt safe with my mother there, for she had always protected me, as I was the only cub she had. She was always gentle wit me, and careful not to let me get myself into trouble. She would hunt for us, always telling me to stay in the grass and not make a sound. She said I wasn't old enough to hunt with her, that I would only scare the prey away. That didn't make sense to me, for she was bigger than me and I didn't think the prey would be able to see me at all, let alone be spooked by me. Mother merely smiled when I told her this, and said I'd understand when I was older.

But suddenly Mother's eyes got wide, and she tensed. I looked at her curiously, wondering why she was acting this way all of a sudden. She turned without glancing at me or telling me to follow, and started running. The way she moved told there was something wrong, and I started to run after her. I tried to will my legs to get longer so I could keep up, but it was impossible. Soon she was out of sight and I couldn't smell her, for my nose was untrained and weak. I tried to call out to her, to get her to come back, but she didn't come. So I crawled under a shrub and lay there, waiting anxiously for her to come and find me. A pair of footsteps caught my attention, but the fact that there were two warned me not to move. A pair of brothers passed the shrub I was under, and one stopped, as if he smelled me. I prayed he wouldn't look for me, but his brother called to him from up ahead, and he moved along. I dozed off, and eventually sleep found me. I woke to the sound of rain, and realized it was daylight, but the sky was clouded heavily, colored dark gray instead of the bright blue I liked to see. I knew there was no hope of my mother finding me now, so I crawled out of my hiding place and began walking in the rain. My mother had been headed south, and that was where she had run. So I went south, having no idea how I knew where south was, but I did. I was going to find my mother, if it was the last thing I did.

I have grown since finding my mother, and I am now nine months of age, and already as big as her. She is teaching me to hunt, whenever Virgil decides to stop. I wonder when she'll start deciding where we go. It should be interesting when she does...

I am a.lone.

Bakar

When you're surrounded by all these people,
it can be even lonelier than when you're by yourself.

Fiona Apple

[Kamaria]

They tell us to avoid conflict,
to restrain ourselves when things go bad.
They teach us to get help when there is trouble,
to tell someone who can help.

My body was rebelling against me. I had a secret to be kept, and my own body wouldn't let me. My belly was growing, as if I had been sneaking extra meals when my parents weren't looking. My father was king of this small pride we lived in, all of us working together. He was possessive of us, something I had never liked... Or, at least, I don't like it anymore. My mother and aunts inhabited the pride, all three of the same litter. My sister, years ago, had been captured by white-pelts and taken away, never to be seen again. No one could do anything about it. These were men, with loud sticks and sharp, flat rocks that would slice our skin. And my brother, Lynau, had been driven off two years ago. I didn't see him again after that, but I hope to someday. He was my best friend after Suru was taken away, and I still miss him terribly. I know he would have protected me and him if he'd still lived with us. But, of course, nothing works out the way you want it to.

I was pregnant, long enough for my belly to grow and scream at anyone who saw me, screeching the secret out loud like a vengeful playmate. I hated it, and apparently so did my father. I knew he was suspicious, or he already knew. And yet, I couldn't stay away from my love, and I went to the outskirts of the territory that day, like I had every day before that. I was a fool to do so, and I led my father straight to his target. I couldn't imagine how things might be different if I had simply skipped that trip, and any afterward. But I didn't, and I would have lost much more if I had.

My father, Virasso, followed me to our usual meeting spot. Trissan was there, as always, waiting. These secret meetings had happened for quite a while without Virasso knowing. But that all changed. Virasso hid in the bushes, waiting for the right moment. When I left, Trissan lingered to watch me cross the boundary line, and that was when my father struck. I heard the snarls and roars, the fury in my father's voice, the defensive passion in Trissan's. As I turned to go back, to see if I could help, I found my father and my love locked in combat. My father was larger, and he had Trissan pinned to the ground in a moment. They tore at each other for a long time, neither able to lock their jaws around the other's throat. I couldn't do anything. I was paralyzed. I didn't want either of them to win. I wanted time to spin back, so that I could stay home and prevent this whole thing. But that never happens.

Virasso won out, his jaws finding Trissan's throat and suffocating him. And I still couldn't do anything. When he was finished, Virasso turned to me. I was afraid he would kill me too, but his eyes went to my belly, and I knew that he would love to kill the cubs. But he would have to kill me in order to do so. And he wouldn't do that. But he would kill them when they were born. He held me captive in the pride, never letting me leave. But I grew restless in the week before I was meant to give birth, and my mother allowed me out. She let me go, and I went. Most lionesses give birth outside the pride, and she understood this. But she also understood something else. I wasn't going back. I would find another pride, for the good of my young. So now I travel, prolonging labor as long as I could, until I find a new pride. I can't live on my own, after living in a group for so long. I must find a pride. And quickly.

But what about when the one they want you to run to,
has committed the crime?

Amara